If NASA's Falling Satellite Had Hit Los Angeles...

If it had landed in Beverly Hills, it would have been towed...

If it had landed in MacArthur Park, it would have got a fake green card and driver's license...

If it had landed in South Central or East LA, it would have have at least four sets of gang sign tagged, and at least two bodies in the trunk...

If it had landed in Bel Air it would have received a restraining order...





If it landed in the Valley, it would have received a whiny letter from the Homeowner's Association...

If it had landed in Dodger Stadium it would have received a brutal beating...

If it had landed in Santa Monica Greenpeace would have picketed it.

If it had landed in West Hollywood, some nancy would have called it a whore.

If it had landed in Burbank it would have received a citation for violating the noise-abatement laws.

If it had landed in Antelope Valley, it would be up on blocks in front of some skinhead's bungalow.

Lucky for it, it missed.